Disclaimer: Written from the writer’s personal world of thought,
these views stand as their own and may or may not reflect ours.
Dear Mothers, for years, decades, and centuries, you have carried the heaviest weight in every household. You are the reason the world began to fight for feminism.
We see the pain you suffer silently, the sacrifices you make, and the way you sometimes endure insults for our sake. You are the one person even men cannot stop loving. Amma, Umma, Mom, Mamma… these aren’t just words for a person; they are emotions carrying a thousand feelings.
To all the mothers out there: it is high time you break the stereotype of silence. The phrase innocent mother is a trap that many don’t recognize. We see our mothers as the greatest power and the ultimate supermodels. Thank you for bringing us into this world, but please don’t close your dreams within the four corners of a room because of us.
To all the upcoming mothers: you don’t have to sacrifice everything. You don’t have to make things sound easy. Please, take all the time in the world. Be your own version of a mom, not the version someone else is forcing upon you.
Ammayude sneham ennu parayunnath ‘verum oru thyaagam’ mathramalla. It shouldn’t be a life of quiet suffering like the movies we grew up watching. It should be a life of lived dreams.
Amma enna randaksharathil lokam muzhuvanund. Pakshe aa lokathil ammayude swapnangalkkum idaundavanam.
You are the reason we found the strength to speak; seeing your silence taught us the cost of not being heard. Every child carries the weight of your sacrifices, a quiet heartbreak that drives us to do better not just for ourselves, but for you. We want to look after you the way you looked after us, by protecting your right to be yourself.
To those who are waiting: A special note to the women who are constantly trying, hoping, and waiting to become mothers. The love and nurturing spirit you carry already makes you a mother without a child. You are not less than because of your journey. I hope you find the acceptance and the peace you wish for. Never look down on yourself; your value isn’t defined by this struggle.
Whatever happens or whatever is the case make sure that you know that this is not the end 🥹🫂
But today, we need to talk about that silence. We often hear people say that women enjoy the pain of childbirth, or that it is a natural joy. As per the viral reel by a candidate too.
Let’s be clear: Endurance is not the same as enjoyment.
The reason people feel they can comment on a woman’s body is because of the Stereotype of Silence that mothers carry. You make the impossible look easy. You suffer the highest risks because PREGNANCY IS STILL, AND HAS ALWAYS BEEN, A MATTER OF LIFE AND DEATH and yet you smile for the camera.
This strength is beautiful, but it has become a trap. When you don’t speak about the pain, others feel entitled to minimize it. They see a mother’s love for her child and mistake it for excitement about the struggle.
To all the men and the onlookers who have never stood at the intersection of life and death. No uterus, No opinion..
We must respect a woman’s choice. Whether she chooses to embark on that journey or decides it is not for her, that choice must be accepted not forced, not neglected, and never judged. A mother’s value is not measured by how much pain she can happily endure.
I have seen the tears and heard the quiet heartbreak of so many mothers saying, “Eni ivan valuthayittu… ival valuthayittu nokkam ente career, ente swapnam okke”
That is the first stage of sacrifice the temporary pause that often becomes permanent.
Recently, I spoke with a mother who considers herself progressive. She said women should fly high, yet in the same breath, she insisted that a mother must take a five-year break because mother-care is essential for the child. While that might be her truth, it doesn’t have to be yours.
Let her right be right only for her.
Of course, change isn’t easy. Adjusting to a new phase of life is a marathon. But if you feel you want to carry motherhood and your career together, at the same time DO IT. JUST DO IT. Don’t let anyone else’s ideology cook in your head. You are a mother; you are already a force of nature. You have every right in the world to make your own decisions, on your own timeline.
So, yes dear mothers a very Happy Mother’s Day. More love, more power, and more strength to every one of you out there.
-Fadwa Fasalu x Fadwaspeaks
